I was born in Gibraltar on the 14th April 1948. I was interested in radio from an early age and was a SWL from 1965 to 1979 when I got my A class licence. Those formative SWL years were very important as I learned how to listen, sadly something lacking these days. My first communications receiver was a military surplus R206. A monstrosity my late Father greeted into our home saying "who`s desk do you plan to crush with that ?" It was an impressive heavyweight at 54KG and provided me with a decade of short wave listening. As things were in those days (1977) it took me the better part of two years to get my licence. First study for my City & Guilds Amateur Radio Examination. Then after passing this exam I needed to pass my CW (12 wpm ) at Cable & Wireless. There were no other options like novice or B class it was A class or nothing. I value my licence much more for having had to work hard to get it.
I was a clerk with the Ministry of Defence from 1964 to 1970. First with 224 Sqdn Supply Control & Accounting Flight. South Dispersal at RAF North Front. Later with the R.A.E.C. Command Education Centre at Bleak House Europa Point and then at R.A.F. HQ North Front. I was bored with desk jobs so in 1970 I transferred to the Meteorological Communications Centre as an RTTY operator. A cardboard box was placed to hide the keyboard from sight and so started my touch type training which after 4 gruelling months achieved the required 35 WPM with 0 errors. Then in 1973 I trained at the Hemsby Radio Sonde Station in Great Yarmouth and started working with the Radio Sonde unit of the Met. Office in Gibraltar. This involved launching weather balloons trailing sondes that would transmit WX data back to the station ( on 27.975 Mhz. would you believe ? ). This data would be computed ( with slide rulers ) to evaluate upper air conditions. Our receivers were the trusty Racals RA17. Antennas were simple GPs & Dipoles.In the 70s our Radio Sondes were the MK2B which used low voltage valves. During the early 80s we were using a German Radio Sonde (Transistorised at last) known as Graw Sonde which transmitted a corrupt form of Morse that was decoded from letters to figures 0-9. Those who knew Morse proper (like myself) had a big problem as the codes conflicted with each other. The solution came from the Graw Sonde itself as the CW was so crude and distorted that on being heard (the human brain being what it is)you would automatically switch to the required decode.
These WX balloons also trailed a Radar Reflector so that with the aid of our Cossor tracking radar we could work out the upper air winds and any Jet Stream data. (no GPS in those days). Annoying occurences with this radar was when it suddenly locked on to a passing aircraft and began to follow it intead of the balloon. As can be imagined and due to the aircraft`s speed the Azimuth / Elevation dials and range readings would go wild. Once the unfortunate operator reacted he would put it on manual and search for the proper target refraining his language as best he could. Once the unwanted signal was removed from the tracking gate a horrendous alarm bell would add to the frustration of the moment. The leg pulling that would ensue from the rest of the shift added considerable insult to injury.
We also operated a Cathode Ray DFing section for thunderstorm detection. This network was known as the Med.Spherics unit and involved Malta , Cyprus and Gibraltar with Callsigns MPU, MKS and MLU respectively. C.W. was used on 13.382 supplemented by 11.662 , 8.126 and 5.045Mhz to keep the observation pips in sync. Bearings, (that were triggered by lightning) would be read off the CRT screen and the controlling station would send a pip so that all the stations would take a bearing on that particular flash. The controlling station would set a threshhold so that only strong atmospherics would trigger the pips. Once the 10 minute observation run was over a block message of bearings were sent by Teleprinter to Bracknell U/K for Triangulation, plotting and subsequent location of the Thunderstorms. When Net Flashes (flashes covering the whole screen) were seen you were supposed to send Thunderstorm Overhead and vacate the CRDF Cabin. On a day with suitable WX conditions there was an isolated incident when a renowned joker was caught red handed hiding in an adjacent building shorting a 12v battery whilst wearing a sadistic grin ! ! Another anecdotal occurrence (this time accidental) I always reminisce about come December was when one bright spark was looking for a place to store two kid`s bikes. Not imagining the consequences, he put them in the wooden shed on the roof of the CRDF cabin that housed the two huge LF loop aerials. The steel frames in proximity to the magnetic loops made it impossible to align the equipment the following day when the new shift came on duty so our technician was called out. After a laborious fault finding ritual he narrowed down the fault to the loops (which normally never gave any problems). You can imagine the rage he errupted into when he made the discovery. Two bicycles were extricated from the shed and flung off the cabin roof. The culprit met his reprimand with shrugs and apologies to all and sundry. A hefty brass padlock was subsequently fitted to the shed door.
With the advent of computers all that fun and it`s department came to a sad ending in 1987 and the Radio Sonde dept. in 1993 so I had to go back to school ( Shinfield Park Met College in Reading ) at the ripe age of 45 to retrain as an observer to be able to transfer to the main Met. Office in the Air Traffic Control building at Gibraltar Airport. The only attraction to this transfer was that I would sometimes coincide on shift with my younger brother Wilfred who was one of the forecasters. We had to put up with a certain amount of leg pulling mainly from Air Traffic who`s favourite phrase was " Oh Oh today we are fully dependent on the Stag Brothers ! ! " We still made our Radio Sonde ascents with the Vaisala UHF version albeit from a corner of the Main Office where a computer did the work of a crew of 4. Twelve hour shifts, single manning and watching the Radio Sonde computer executing all sorts of unprofessional manouvers (for which we as humans would have been reprimanded) was far from a joy. During my last 3 years at work I found it quite a struggle to complete my 12 hour shifts.
I am now retired thank God so I have a lot more spare time to play radio. I am a member of the Gibraltar Amateur Radio Society GARS, RSARS No 4200 and also Corp. Mem of the RSGB No 167218. I got married to Helen in 1976 and Paul was born in 1986, unfortunately, like most youngsters these days he is not in the least interested in radio. Helen is a very tolerant XYL who put up with my station in the living room for 24 years but now I have successfully made a QSY to my original shack. When propagation permits I shall try using SSB once again. What a feeling to be rid of the intrusive TV at last.
I sometimes wonder if my preference for CW is hereditary as my Grand Dad on my Mother`s side was an experienced Telegraphist from the "Old School"
My outdoor activities are boating, fishing and operating / P. One of OUR pastimes is singing. Helen sings soprano and I sing bass. We both sing at three different choirs. The HARMONICS CHOIR, The KING`S CHAPEL SINGERS and the CATHEDRAL CHOIR. ( My Choir nickname is ( UNCLE MAX ).
CURRENT EQUIPMENT & AERIALS = FT 2000d main station transciever. Inv V Dipole for 80m & HF. Long Wire for 160m remotely tuned by a CG3000. A home brew vertical for 80m to 10m also tuned at it`s base by another CG3000. In the hope that it will survive the easterly wind turbulence this vertical is made out of fibreglass with a copper conductor at it`s core. (thus far it has survived 85km gusts) In the past everything aluminium has ended up as a pretzel ! All aerials are erected on the terrace of the building which is about 30m high and 40m ASL. The sea is just 200m to the west of the building with the Rock towering up to 1400ft behind me on the east side of the building. V2000 for 6m, 2m & 70cm. The-FT 857d and ATAS 120A for Portable OPS. The rest are boat anchors that are kept operational by being fired up every now and then. My favourite is the Yaesu FT101B on CW and the Kenwood TS520s on SSB.
A POINT TO PONDER ON, IS THE UNIQUE SITUATION OF THIS AREA OF THE WORLD ( THE STRAITS OF GIBRALTAR ) WHERE YOU HAVE WITHIN SIGHT OF EACH OTHER 4 DIFFERENT PREFIXES. TO THE NORTH GIBRALTAR ( ZB2 ) AND SPAIN (EA7) TO THE SOUTH ACROSS THE STRAITS CEUTA (EA9) AND MOROCCO (CN8). NOT AT A STONE`S THROW BUT CERTAINLY AT SEMAPHORE RANGE.
ANOTHER PECULIARITY ABOUT AMATEUR RADIO ON THE ROCK IS THAT NATURAL EARTHING IS VERY POOR. ALTHOUGH THIS MIGHT BE CONSIDERED TABOO IN MOST COUNTRIES OUR BEST EARTH IS AC MAINS EARTH. OUR BEST EARTH IS THE SEA SO WHEN USING MAINS EARTH WE KNOW FOR SURE IT RUNS INTO THE SEA AT THE GENERATOR END. SOME OF US WHO TRIED THE STAKE IN THE GROUND SYSTEM ( ME ALSO OOOUCH ! ) IN THE PAST (TO GO BY THE BOOK) DISCOVERED WE WERE PLAGUED WITH RF FEEDBACK, RF BURNS FROM THE KEY AND OTHER UNWANTED NASTIES.
ERRATA : Your observations are correct there is an A missing in ALAMEDA on the rubber stamp I use on the back of your envelopes. However it seems a pity to destroy it because of that minute error. I think the local Post Office can live with that in the remote event a letter might come back.
DISCLAIMER=TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN = IT IS NOT MY INTENTION TO EMBARRASS OR OFFEND ANYONE WITH WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN IN THIS BIOGRAPHY . IT IS THEREFORE PURE COINCIDENCE IF ANYONE OR ANY GROUP FEELS IDENTIFIED WITH CERTAIN COMMENTS OR SITUATIONS CONTAINED HERE IN. ALL THESE DISSERTATIONS OR MISSIVES HAVE BEEN WRITTEN IN GOOD FAITH AND HUMOUR IN THE HOPE OF IMPROVING OPERATING STANDARDS AND ADDING SOME LEVITY TO OUR VALUED HOBBY. THOSE WHO HAVE SENT ME DISGRACEFUL, RUDE, NASTY, AND VICIOUS E MAILS ARE ALL FORGIVEN FOR HAVING DONE SO. AFTER ALL, THESE E MAILS CAN BE REGARDED AS CONFESSIONS OF SOME SORT.
WARNING = STATIONS THAT ATTEMPT TO ALTER THEIR CALLSIGN AFTER THE QSO HAS BEEN INITIATED WILL NOT BE ENTERED IN MY LOG. INDEED ANY CHANGES YOU MAKE TO YOUR CALL DURING OUR QSO WILL INVALIDATE YOUR ENTRY IN MY LOG. I NEVER CALL CQ DX. I JUST CALL CQ ON ITS OWN WHICH MEANS THERE IS NO NEED TO DISGUISE YOURSELF AS A DX STN IN ORDER TO WORK ME. I WORK EVERYONE WITHOUT DISTINCTION, EVEN THOSE WHO LIVE ON THE ROCK OR CLOSE TO IT IF NEED BE. THEREFORE I FIND IT QUITE INSULTING AND TIME CONSUMING THAT YOU SHOULD TRY AND TRICK ME BY PRETENDING I GOT YOUR CALLSIGN WRONG. IF YOU GO TO THE EXTREME OF GIVING ME AN ATTITUDE I WILL PUT YOUR CALLSIGN ON MY SPECIAL HONOURS LIST. FORTUNATELY IT SPEAKS VOLUMES FOR AMATEUR RADIO THAT THERE ARE ONLY FOUR CALLSIGNS ON THIS LIST.
EXPLANATION = FOR THOSE ZB2s /ZB3s WHO HAPPEN TO LIVE ON THE WEST SIDE OF THE ROCK (like myself, ZB2B, ZB2R, ZB2CW, ZB2JK, ZB2ER, and others) THERE ARE CERTAIN LIMITATIONS BECAUSE THE ROCK SCREENS OUR PATH TO THE EAST. LONG PATH PROPAGATION IS INDEED RARE AND ONLY LASTS FOR VERY SHORT PERIODS WITH MAINLY WEAK SIGNALS. FOR US ON THE WEST SIDE OF THE ROCK IT IS THE ONLY CHANCE WE GET TO WORK CHINA, JAPAN, KOREA, AUSTRALIA AND ALL THE OTHER COUNTRIES IN THAT PART OF THE WORLD. SO WHEN YOU HEAR US SAY " FAR EAST ONLY " OR "JAPAN ONLY " WE ARE REALLY ASKING EVERYONE ELSE TO RESPECT OUR REQUEST AND NOT TO DESTROY THOSE OPPORTUNITIES WHICH FOR US ARE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN. I AM CERTAIN A WIDE MAJORITY ARE NOT AWARE OF THIS PECULIAR SITUATION AND THEREFORE TAKE OFFENCE WHEN WE ASK FOR A QRX AS IT COULD BE INTERPRETED AS DISCRIMINATION, SO PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DISSEMINATE THIS INFORMATION. I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL THOSE WHO ARE ALREADY CO-OPERATING WITH ME ON THIS MATTER BECAUSE WITH THEIR HELP I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO WORK A GREAT NUMBER OF THESE LONG PATH STNS.
SILENT KEY = 20/6/14 Martyn Phillips ZB2FX / G3RFX. GOD BE WITH YOU TILL WE MEET AGAIN.
REQUEST = PLEASE POST ME ON ANY OF THE CLUSTERS WHEN YOU WORK OR HEAR ME. I MAKE THE EFFORT TO BE THERE EVEN WITH POOR PROPAGATION. THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS TO KEEP THE TAKERS COMING. PLEASE ENSURE YOU POST THE CORRECT BAND & FREQUENCY BUT IF YOU MAKE A MISTAKE (LIKE WE ALL DO, MYSELF INCLUDED) PLEASE SEND A CORRECTION ASAP TO CAUSE THE LEAST DISRUPTION POSSIBLE. THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for MARCH 2012 WHY DO SOME PEOPLE KEEP CALLING WHEN I AM IN QSO WITH SOMEONE AND WHEN I FINALLY STRUGGLE TO FINISH AND CALL QRZ THERE IS A DEADLY SILENCE ? ? WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP CALLING WHEN I ONLY WANT AND KEEP REPEATING A SPECIFIC CALLSIGN ? ? WHY IS THIS GUY TELLING ME ABOUT HIS RIGS & WX WHEN HE CAN HEAR ALL THOSE OTHERS CALLING ? ? WHY ARE YOU CALLING CQ VERY NEARLY ON MY FREQUENCY AND CAUSING ME QRM WHEN WE HAVE JUST EXCHANGED 599 RSTs ? ? WHY DON`T YOU ANSWER MY PLEAS FOR A QSY ? ? ARE YOU RISKING BEING STRUCK OFF MY LOG ? ? WHY DON`T I REST MY CASE ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for APRIL 2012 WHY DO SOME " CW FOG HORNS "SEND ME ( ? ? ? ?) WHEN I GIVE THEM A 5 9 5 REPORT ? ? WHY IS IT THAT SOME REPEAT THEIR CALL 4 TIMES DESPITE HAVING HEARD ME COPY IT CORRECTLY FIRST TIME ? ? WHAT HAPPENS TO THESE CALLSIGNS THAT SUDDENLY GROW AN ( I ), (O) OR SOME OTHER LETTER INFRONT OF THE ( K ) OR ( W ) WHEN THEY SIGN OFF ? ? WHY DO I HEAR THESE SPASMODIC STREAMS OF Es OR Ts EVERY TIME THERE ARE MORE THAN 5 STNS CALLING ME ? ? ? COULD IT BE A NEW FORM OF CW CLAPPING OR JEERING PERHAPS ? ? ? SHOULD I LOOSE ANY SLEEP OVER SUCH IRRATIONAL BEHAVIOUR ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for MAY 2012 WHY DO SO MANY STNS. TEST THEIR TRANSMITTERS ON THE CLASSIC BANDS ON SATURDAYS & SUNDAYS ? ? WHY IS IT THAT WHEN YOU LET THEM KNOW THEIR TX IS WORKING OK THEY INCREASE THEIR SPEED TO 40WPM AND GIVE YOU SOME STRANGE NUMBERS AND LETTERS ? ? WHY DOES`NT ANYONE ASK IF THE FREQUENCY IS IN USE ON THE CLASSIC BANDS AT WEEKENDS ? ? WHY ARE THE W. A. R. C. BANDS A REFUGE WHEN THE WEEKLY CHAOS IS UNLEASHED ON THE CLASSIC BANDS ? ? WHY DID THIS GUY GET ANGRY WHEN I JUST SAID "SORRY I AM NOT PART OF THE TESTING PARTY ". IS IT POSSIBLE I AM BEING TOLD TO QSY TO THE W. A. R. C. BANDS JUST BECAUSE I CHOOSE NOT TO BE PART OF THE FRENZY? ? WHY AM I LEFT TONGUE IN CHEEK ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for JUNE 2012 WHY IS THIS STN WITH A 599+20 db SIGNAL TRYING TO WORK ME IF EVIDENTLY HE IS NOT COPYING ME AT ALL ? ? WHY IS IT THAT HE CONTINUES TO CALL CAUSING ME HAVOC WHEN I HAVE RESPONDED WITH A 599 REPORT 5 TIMES ? ? DO THESE STNS FALL INTO THE CATEGORY OF RADIOCROCS ? ? WHAT IS A RADIO CROCODILE ? ? ARE RADIO CROCS STNS WITH BIG MOUTHS AND NO EARS ? ? WHY HAS ONE GOT TO USE CELLOTAPE TO SEAL SOUTH AMERICAN ENVELOPES ? ? WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP PLEADING TO BE POSTED ON THE CLUSTER ? ? DO YOU THINK I SUFFER FROM INSOMNIA WHEN I CALL CQ AT 0100Z (0300 MY TIME) AND THAT IS WHY YOU DON`T BOTHER TO POST ME ? ? WHY DON`T I LEARN MY LESSON AND NOT DRINK COFFEE UNLESS THERE IS A STEADY STREAM OF TAKERS ? ? IS IT MORE THAN FAIR TO THANK A VERY SMALL MINORITY WHO MAKE MY OPERATIONS RUN WITH FLUIDITY BY HAVING THE COURTESY OF POSTING ME ON THE CLUSTER ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for JULY 2012 WHY IS IT THAT SINCE I WROTE THE EXPLANATION MANY MONTHS AGO I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FILL MY LOGS WITH ZLs, VKs, Js etc. etc. ? ? IS IT BECAUSE THE MAJORITY ARE THANKFULLY TOP NOTCH OPERATORS ? ? WHY AM I SO APPREHENSIVE ABOUT WORKING STNS WITH THE LETTERS ( U P ) IN THEIR SUFFIX ? ? IS IT BECAUSE THE DUTY POLICEMAN CAN TRANSFORM THE WHOLE THING INTO A SPLIT OPERATION IN SECONDS ? ? WHY DO WE HAVE TO WASTE PRECIOUS PROPAGATION TIME ON 6M BY EXCHANGING LOCATORS ? ? IS IT NOT A VALID CONTACT IF STNS DO NOT PASS THEIR RESPECTIVE LOCATORS ? ? WHY DOES MY BLOOD CURDLE WHEN YOU ASK ME MY CALLSIGN AFTER WE HAVE FINISHED OUR QSO ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for AUGUST 2012 WHY DON`T I REMEMBER PROPAGATION ON HF AS POOR AS LATELY ? ? WHEN WILL WE BE OUT OF THE DOLDRUMS ? ? HAS IT COME TO THE POINT OF TRYING TO, RATHER THAN OPERATING ? ? WHY AFTER ALL THESE CARRIER PLAGUED YEARS HAS NO ONE THOUGHT OF ESTABLISHING A "LOADING UP " FREQUENCY / FREQUENCIES FOR EACH BAND ? ? WHY DO YOU INTERRUPT MY QSO WITH THAT RUDE AND PRIMITIVE " WWHHOOOOOOOOOLLLLLAAAAAAAAA" INSTEAD OF GIVING YOUR CALLSIGN ONCE I FINISH ? ? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TREAT ME TO A SONG BY PLAYING WITH YOUR TUNING CONTROL WHILST TRANSMITTING A CARRIER ON THE FREQUENCY I AM TRYING TO OPERATE ON ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for SEPTEMBER 2012 WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SCRATCH YOUR MIKE BEFORE SPEAKING INTO IT ? ? IS IT PURELY RITUALISTIC OR IS THERE SUCH A THING AS MICROPHONE ECZEMA ? ? WHY DO YOU GIVE YOUR CALL CONTINOUSLY WITHOUT STOPPING EVERY NOW AND THEN TO LISTEN ? ? DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU CAN ACTUALLY HEAR ME COMING BACK TO YOU EVEN IF YOU ARE USING FULL BREAK IN ? ? DO THESE INSTANCES INEVITABLY END UP IN CROC TEARS ? ? WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT W3LPL MY FAITHFUL ROBOTIC FRIEND ? ? WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP WRITING U. S. A. ON YOUR SAEs? ? IS IT NOT RISKY WITH SO MUCH POSTAL CONFUSION TO PUT SUCH THINGS AS (PA 15748) AND HOPE FOR THE BEST ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for OCTOBER 2012 WHY DO I KEEP HEARING THESE CALLSIGNS THAT HAVE NO NUMBERS IN THEM ? ? COULD THEY BE SOME SORT OF CODED MESSAGE DICTATING SOMETHING TO ME ? ? WHY IS IT THAT WHEN I QRS OUT OF COURTESY TO FACILITATE A QSO I START GETTING A SHOWER OF SUPERFLUOUS INFORMATION WHICH INEVITABLY MAKES TEMPERS FRAY AT THE WAITING END ? ? DO WE ALL AGREE QRX MEANS STAND BY ? ? WHY IS IT THAT I CAN GO BLUE IN THE FACE SENDING Q R X AND NO ONE STANDS BY TO LISTEN? ? WHY DO OLD RIGS SMELL DIFFERENT TO MODERN ONES ? ? DOES THAT AROMA OF PAXOLIN & SHELLAC MAKE YOU REMINISCE ABOUT THE DAYS WHEN A RADIO WAS A RADIO ? ? DO THE LATEST TWIN VFO RIGS CONTRIBUTE TO THE PROLIFERATION OF RADIO CROCS ??
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for NOVEMBER 2012 WHY IS IT SOME MEMBERS OF OUR FRATERNITY SEND " CQ DX CQ DX CQ DX CQ DX " FOR EVER AND EVER AND ONE HAS TO WAIT PATIENTLY FOR THE MANDATORY CALLSIGN THAT SOMETIMES NEVER COMES ? ? IS IT ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY TO WHISTLE INTO YOUR MICROPHONE ? ? WHY AM I SO GLAD I DO NOT OWN A DOG ? ? IS IT NOT A BIT CONFUSING FOR THE POOR ANIMALS ? ? WILL I HAVE TO END UP POSTING MYSELF ON THE CLUSTER OR WOULD THAT BE SEEN AS SINFUL? ? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO REST A HEFTY BRICK ON A MORSE KEY TO ADVERTISE A LINEAR ? ? WHY IS IT I CAN STILL HEAR CW WHEN ALL MY RADIOS ARE SWITCHED OFF ? ? HOW CAN YOU ASK ME TO QSY BAND IN THE MIDDLE OF A PILE UP BECAUSE YOU NEED ZB2 ELSEWHERE ? ? DO YOU NOT HAVE AN ATOM OF CONSIDERTATION FOR THOSE WHO ARE PATIENTLY WAITING TO HAVE THEIR QSO ON THE CURRENT BAND ? ? WHY AM I LEFT IN AWE ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for DECEMBER 2012 WHY IS IT NO ONE TRIES TO SEND A CQ ON A SEEMINGLY DEAD BAND ? ? WHY IS IT THAT A BAND, THAT HAS NO BEACONS, CAN BE OPEN AND NO ONE KNOWS ? ? WHY DON`T WE TUNE AROUND AND LISTEN FOR ANY ACTIVITY OR SEND A TENTATIVE CQ INSTEAD OF DEPENDING ENTIRELY ON THE CLUSTER ? ? HOW WAS IT THERE WAS SO MUCH MORE ACTIVITY ON THE BANDS DURING THOSE CLUSTERLESS YEARS ? ? HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN A HUGE SPLIT OPERATION WITH S9 SIGNALS ON A PORTION OF A BAND AND NOT EVEN A LONE CQ OR QSO ON THE REST OF THE BAND? ? WHY DON`T SOME GM STNS UNDERSTAND WHEN I SAY TO THEM " 73S AND LONG MAY YOUR LUM REEK " ? ? WHY DO FISHING TRAWLERS FROM A NATION (THAT SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS FOR THE MOMENT) HAVE TO USE THE AMATEUR RADIO FREQs, WITH APPARENT IMPUNITY, INSTEAD OF THE MARINE BANDS ? ? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SEND A STREAM OF ? ? ?s WHEN I GIVE MY CALLSIGN EVERY 2MINS ? ? CANNOT YOU WAIT AND LISTEN LIKE THE OTHERS ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for JANUARY 2013 WILL WE NEED TO PUT PEDALS ON THIS CYCLE SO THAT WE CAN GET TO THE LEVELS EXPECTED ? ? WHY DOES MY DOCTOR ALWAYS ASK ME " ANY PROBLEMS READING YOUR MORSE ? " WHEN I GO FOR MY ROUTINE CHECKS ? ? WHAT SORT OF A MEDICAL QUESTION IS THAT ? ? WHAT DOES HE KNOW ABOUT AMATEUR RADIO ANYWAY OR AM I DETECTING A METHOD IN THE MADNESS ? ? WHY IS IT I SET MY ALARM CLOCK TO ACTIVATE 160M, END TRYING 80M AND FINALLY HAVE TO SETTLE FOR 40M ? ? DOES THE TERM " L I D " IN AMATEUR RADIO MEAN " LATEST INTERFERING DEVIL " OR HAS IT SOMETHING TO DO WITH COVERING YOUR SPEAKER WITH THE LID FROM A TOBACCO TIN ? ?? WHY IS IT I SOMETIMES CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE BACKGROUND WHILST I AM HAVING A QSO ? ? ? HOW CAN YOU SEND ME 599 WHEN I AM IN QSO WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND THEN DASH OFF TO POST ME ON THE CLUSTER WITH " TNX FB QSO" ? ? ? DO THESE "D. I. Y. QSOs" INEVITABLY END IN THE UNPALATABLE NOT IN LOG ? ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for FEBRUARY 2013 WHY IS IT YOU SPOT BEACONS INSTEAD OF ANNOUNCING THEM ? ? HAVE THINGS ADVANCED SO MUCH THAT WE CAN NOW HAVE A QSO WITH A BEACON ? ? WHY IS QRP AND CW THE PERFECT MATCH ? ? HOW CAN A 5W QRP STN. KICK THE BLAZES OUT OF MY *S* METER ? ? WHY DO I INVARIABLY GET THE SAME ANSWER WHEN I ASK ABOUT THE ANTENNA IN USE ? ? DOES A 6 ELEMENT MONOBAND YAGI SOUND FAMILIAR ? ? HOW WAS IT THE LATE GERRY SMITH ZB2GS USED TO WORK VKs & ZLs WITH HOMEBREW ONE WATTERS AND A LOOP ANTENNA ? ? WHY DID THIS CHARMING, VENERABLE MAN ALWAYS SAY " TO QRP OR NOT TO QRP THAT IS THE QUESTION "? ? WHAT DOES A 3 3 9 REPORT REALLY MEAN? ? IS IT NOT DIFFICULT ENOUGH TO MAKE OUT A CALLSIGN AT 4 4 9 ? ? ? WHY IS IT YOU CAN MAKE OUT THAT WEAK SIGNAL AND COMPLETE A QSO BY CANCELLING YOUR A.G.C. ? ? HOW MANY OF US MAKE USE OF THAT MAGIC R. F. GAIN CONTROL ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for MARCH 2013 IS IT NOT TIME WE HAD A (W3LPL) EQUIVALENT FACILITY ON THE EUROPEAN SCENE ? ? WHY IS THERE SO MUCH FUTILE BICKERING ON THE ANNOUNCEMENTS COLUMNS ? ? CAN WE AT LEAST REFRAIN FROM USING THE INTERNATIONAL 4 LETTER WORD LIBERALLY ? ? DID YOU KNOW THIS WORD ORIGINATED IN THE DAYS WHEN IN ENGLAND ONE HAD TO OBTAIN A PERMIT FROM THE KING TO ( F ornicate U nder C onsent of the K ing )? ? ? CAN THE USE OF THE 4 LETTER WORD CONTRIBUTE IN ANY WAY TOWARDS THE ADVANCEMENT OF AMATEUR RADIO ? ? WHAT DO YOU THINK IS EASIER ON YOUR EARS, THE CONTINOUS RUSH OF BAND NOISE OR THE RANDOM HUFFING AND PUFFING OF THE DSP ? ? ? IS IT NOT A COWARDLY, DESPICABLE ACT TO ADOPT SOMEONE ELSE`S CALLSIGN OR A FICTITIOUS ONE IN ORDER TO POST NASTIES ON THE CLUSTER & ANNOUNCEMENTS COLUMNS ? ? ? WHY IS IT I KEEP GETTING E MAILS ASKING FOR SCHEDS ? ? ? HOW CAN I GIVE A SKED WHEN I KNOW I WILL PROBABLY NOT BE ABLE TO COMPLY ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for APRIL 2013 WHEN YOU SEND ME A QSL REQUEST WHY DON`T YOU TICK OR UNDERLINE THE PERTINENT CALLSIGN FROM THE MULTITUDE OF CALLSIGNS ON YOUR CARD ? ? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHICH CALLSIGN YOU USED TO MAKE THE CONTACT ON THAT DAY ? ? AFTER CALLING CQ FOR THE BETTER PART OF 10MINS WHY IS IT THE MOMENT I SEND " NO TAKERS SO GOING QRT " THERE IS AN AVALANCHE OF CALLERS ? ? ARE YOU JUST SITTING THERE MONITORING AND WAITING FOR ME TO SEND QRT BEFORE CALLING ? ? WHY DO I FEEL SO PERPLEXED WHEN THESE THINGS HAPPEN ? ? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE MY TASK MORE DIFFICULT BY USING ROMAN NUMBERS ON YOUR QSLs INSTEAD OF THE NORMAL ONES? ? WHY IS IT THAT ALTHOUGH IT MIGHT BE MORE ROMAN--TIC FOR YOU, ROMAN COULD BE A HEADACHE FOR ME ? ? WHERE HAVE ALL THE Es GONE ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for MAY 2013 WHY AM I SO GLAD I AT LAST FOUND MY "Es" WITH AN OPENING ON 6M TODAY, THE 5TH OF MAY ? ? WHY WAS IT SUCH A PLEASURE NOT TO WASTE VALUABLE PROPAGATION AND ONLY GIVE THE ODD LOCATOR ? ? HAS MY LOCATOR GOT ANYTHING TO DO WITH AN INDIAn calledMIKEwho is 76 and lives in a HOTEL near a riverDELTA ? ? ( 9/5 ) WHO CLOSED THE "Es" TAP AGAIN ? ? WHY ARE JAPANESE STATIONS SO RELUCTANT TO SPOT ME ON THE CLUSTER ? ? DON`T THEY WANT TO SHARE THOSE SCARCE LONG PATH CONDITIONS WITH THEIR FRATERNITY ? ? WHY AM I LEFT FESTERING WHEN THIS PSEUDO ( Foxtrot Oscar zero Lima ) (FO0L) CALLS ME AND I TAKE LINE , SINKER & BAIT BY QUICKLY GIVING HIM A 599 ? ? IS IT NOT A BIT OUT OF SEASON FOR AN APRIL FOOL ? ? COULD YOU BELIEVE THE QRK HE GAVE ME WAS HI HI HI ? ? IS IT POSSIBLE WE ARE SUFFERING AN EPIDEMIC OR LIDFESTATION OF SOME SORT ? ? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME YOUR LOCATOR THREE TIMES AND FORGET TO GIVE ME MY REPORT ? ? IS THIS LOCATOR THING ON 6M BECOMING AN OBSESSION ? ? WHY IS IT I BEND LIKE A REED AND GIVE THE LOCATOR BEFORE I AM ASKED TO SPEED THINGS UP BEFORE THE PROP VANISHES ?? IF I GIVE YOU 439 AND ASK YOU FOR MY RST WHY DO YOU KEEP GIVING ME EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN EXCEPT MY QRK UNTIL, UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE TO SEND " SRRI N I L " ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for JUNE 2013 IF YOU HAD 2 QSOs WITH ME ON CW , ON THE SAME BAND, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO ARGUE ONE OF THEM WAS ON SSB JUST BECAUSE IT SUITS YOU ? ? DO I HAVE TO BE SUBJECTED TO THESE ARGUMENTS BY E MAIL ? ? IS THERE A POSSIBILITY I MAY BE GOING GAGA AND LOGGED 72 QSOs ON CW WHEN THEY WERE SSB ? ? WHY DO I GET SO AGITATED WHEN A PARTICULAR STATION, AFTER HAVING COMPLETED 2 QSOs IN THE SPACE OF 15 MINUTES, COMES BACK AND CALLS ME AGAIN ? ? WHY DO I HAVE TO TELL THE GUY " DO NOT CALL ME AGAIN YOU ARE IN MY LOG TWICE " ? ? WOULD YOU BELIEVE SOME KEEP CALLING AND CAUSING ME QRM THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE OPERATION ? ? WHY IS THERE NEVER A POLICEMAN AROUND WHEN ONE NEEDS ONE ? ? IF YOU ARE A FOG HORN AND DON`T LIKE ME GIVING YOU A 557 REPORT WHY DO YOU SEND ME AN UTTERLY RIDICULOUS AND SPITEFUL 331 ? ? IS QSX NARROW 21015 TOO COMPLICATED TO UNDERSTAND OR JUST NOT USED IN AMATEUR RADIO ? ? WHY IS IT THAT WHEN I MAKE A MISTAKE AND SEND (COR) WITH THE CORRECTED CALLSIGN SOME TAKE OFFENCE AND SEND " ES TU TOO" ? ? IS (COR) NOT ACCEPTABLE IN AMATEUR RADIO ? ? THESE ARE NOT AMATEUR RADIO PROCEEDURES SO WOULD IT BE FAIR TO RETRACT ON THIS ONE ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for JULY 2013 ARE WE SUCH A MINORITY THAT THE GENERAL PUBLIC ARE STILL NOT AWARE OF OUR HOBBY ? ? WHEN I OPERATE PORTABLE WHY HAS THE POLICE ALWAYS GOT TO PAY ME A VISIT AND ASK FOR MY LICENCE ? ? WHY DOES THIS KEEN GENTLEMAN IN BLUE HAVE TO INTERRUPT MY OPERATIONS AFTER I HAVE GONE BLUE IN THE FACE TO ATTRACT SOME TAKERS WITH MY 40W ? ? WHY DO I GET SO MANY ? ? ? ? WHEN I SEND " PSE QRX POLICE VISIT " ? WOULD IT BE A GOOD IDEA IN A SMALL PLACE LIKE GIBRALTAR TO ENLIGHTEN THESE DUTY CONCIOUS PEOPLE WITH A LIST OF PROBABLE ( /P ) CALLSIGNS AND A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF OUR ACTIVITIES ? ? WHY IS IT THAT WHEN I ASKED ONE OF THESE GOOD GENTLEMEN " HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS HERE ? " HE SAID WITH A BROAD SMILE " A LADY REPORTED SOMEONE VERY SUSPICIOUS TAMPERING WITH A BLACK BOX THAT HAD LIGHTS AND MADE LOTS OF WHISTLING NOISES " (GENERAL PUBLIC`S FIRST IMPRESSION OF AN FT857D ! ) CAN ONE ARGUE WITH AN ANSWER LIKE THAT ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for AUGUST 2013 HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL WHEN AFTER HAVING CALLED CQ FOR SOME TIME YOU TUNE UP ON ME FOR NEARLY A MINUTE BEFORE ANSWERING MY CQ ? ? IS THIS EAR SPLITTING CARRIER SUPPOSED TO RAISE MY MORALE THAT SOMEONE IS ACTUALLY GOING TO CALL ME ? ? WHY DO YOU GET IMPATIENT WHEN I TAKE A FEW SECONDS FOR MY EARS TO RECOVER BEFORE ANSWERING ? ? HAVE YOU CALLED ME BECAUSE W3LPL POSTED ME ON THE CLUSTER ? ? ONCE WE HAVE HAD OUR QSO WHY DON`T YOU POST ME YOURSELF SO THAT OTHER CLUSTER GAZERS REALIZE I AM WORKABLE ? ? HAS THAT BLACK HOLE ON THE SUN HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH CULCUTTA ? ? WHY DO THE PROPAGATION DOLDRUMS ALWAYS COINCIDE WITH THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS ? ? WHY IS THIS TIME OF THE YEAR NOT SUCH A GOOD TIME TO RECRUIT NEW BLOOD INTO OUR HOBBY ? ? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO WRITE MY NAME & ADDRESS ON THE FRONT OF YOUR S.A.E. ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for SEPTEMBER 2013 WHEN YOU WRITE THE DATE OF QSO ON YOUR QSL CARD DO YOU USE DD/MM/YY , MM/DD/YY or even YY/MM/DD ? ? WHY IS IT THAT IF YOU MARK THE DD/MM/YY SEQUENCE YOU USED OVER THE DATE THERE WILL BE NO ROOM FOR CONFUSION ? ? WHY DO I LOVE THOSE WHO WRITE THE FOLLOWING FORMAT e. g. 4th April 2013 ? ? DOES ONE HAVE TO BE IN A CONTEST TO OPERATE ON THE CLASSIC BANDS AT WEEKENDS ? ? WHY DO I BOTHER ASKING IF THE FREQUENCY IS IN USE ? ? HAS THE (QRL ? ?) BEFORE CALLING CQ NOW GONE OUT OF FASHION ? ? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN INITIATING A QSO, HAVING GIVEN HIS CALLSIGN AT LEAST TWICE AND BEFORE HE HAS GIVEN ME HIS REPORT HE MYSTERIOUSLY STOPS SENDING HALF WAY THROUGH HIS THIRD CALLSIGN. COULD THIS BE DUE TO A POWERCUT ? TRANSMITTER FAILURE ? POWER SUPPLY FAILURE ? BLOWING A FUSE ? ANTENNA GOT BLOWN DOWN ? OR HUMAN INDISPOSITION ? WHY AM I SO GLAD WHEN SOME SEND ME AN E MAIL EXPLAINING WHY I WAS LEFT WONDERING AND SENDING "SRRI NIL" ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for OCTOBER 2013 WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SEAL YOUR S.A.E. ? ? WHILST I CAN ALWAYS WRITE AND PROVIDE A NEW ENVELOPE COULD THIS NEW TREND HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH COMPULSIVE LICKING ? ? WHY ARE CONSTRUCTION COMPANIES SO DESTRUCTIVE WHEN IT COMES TO AMATEUR RADIO ANTENNAS ? ? WOULD YOU BELIEVE THEIR LICENCE TO DESTROY READS " ALL FIXTURES SHALL BE REMOVED AND DISPOSED OF WITHOUT PRIOR NOTICE AND THE CONSTRUCTION COMPANY WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGES INCURRED" ? ? HOW CAN THESE GENTLEMEN DISTINGUISH BETWEEN A V2000 VHF ANTENNA AND A SIMLAR TELECOM ANTENNA CLOSE BY THAT MIRACULOUSLY ESCAPES UNSCATHED ? ? WHY DOES MY HAIR STAND ON END WHEN I HEAR THE SOUND OF THOSE ELECTRIC DISC CUTTERS FROM MY FLAT ? ? HOW COULD I HAVE EVER IMAGINED AGING GRACEFULLY ENTAILED WITNESSING THE SYSTEMATIC DEMISE OF MY PRECIOUS ERECTIONS ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for NOVEMBER 2013 WHY IS THE QSO DATA FROM YOUR PRINTOUT LABEL STUCK TO YOUR QSL CARD GETTING SO SMALL I HAVE HAD TO BUY A POTENT MAGNIFIER IN ORDER TO READ THEM ? ? MY OCCULIST CONFIRMS MY SIGHT IS STILL THE SAME SO WHY IS THE TEXT ON THOSE PRINTOUTS SHRINKING ? ? WHY IS IT THAT WHEN I PROMPTLY TAKE THE TROUBLE TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS & COMMENTS BY E MAIL 30% ARE BOUNCED BACK OR NOT ACKNOWLEDGED ? ? WHY IS IT THAT IF I WERE TO IGNORE THESE EMAILS I WOULD BE LABELED EVASIVE OR UNSOCIABLE ? ? WHY SHOULD K6VVA`s VIDEO BE ESSENTIAL VIEWING EVEN IF IT IS SLIGHTLY PROTRACTED ? ? WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE TO TRANSLATE IT INTO AS MANY LANGUAGES AS POSSIBLE SO THAT IT HAS A GLOBAL IMPACT ? ? HOW CAN LOCUSTS BE OF SO MUCH BENEFIT TO HAM RADIO ? ? WHO IS SILLY BILLY THE QRO BULLY ? ? IS HE THE ONE THAT SLAPS A CARRIER ON ME AND FORCES ME TO GO SPLIT ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for DECEMBER 2013 WHY IS IT NOT SUCH A GOOD IDEA TO SEND QSLs BY POST AT THIS TIME OF THE YEAR ? ? CAN ONE ACTUALLY OWN A CERTAIN FREQUENCY AND ALWAYS BE THERE DAY AND NIGHT ? ? CAN YOU ACTUALLY BE STUBBORN ENOUGH NOT TO MOVE THAT DIAL AND GROW ROOTS FOR YEARS ON THAT SAME FREQUENCY ? ? CAN THESE ROOTS BE TRANSLATED INTO KILOWATTS ? ? HOW SHOCKED CAN ONE BECOME LISTENING TO THE ABUSE AND INSULTS SHOWERED UPON THESE RADIO TREES ? ? WHY CANNOT I HELP DETECTING A HINT OF MASOCHISM AMONGST THESE RADIO TREES ? ? DO THESE RADIO TREES SHED THEIR TX OR LINEAR FINALS IN AUTUMN ? ? IF WE WERE TO SHOWER THESE RADIO TREES WITH GREETINGS AT CHRISTMAS COULD THEY BECOME OUR RADIO CHRISTMAS TREES AND GIVE OUR BANDS A FESTIVE SPIRIT ? ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for JANUARY 2014 WHAT IS THE REASON FOR AN AVALANCHE OF QSL CARD REQUESTS FOR QSOs FROM THE 80s ALL OF A SUDDEN ? ? HAVE I NOT HEARD SOMETHING I SHOULD HAVE IN CONNECTION WITH THIS ONSLAUGHT ? ? COULD THIS BE AN ENIGMA SIMILAR TO OUR PROPAGATION CYCLE MAX ? ? WHY IS IT THAT WHEN I SEND CQ AT 0100 LOCAL AND GET ONE RESPONSE EVERY 5mins I SEND STREAMS OF Z Z Z Z Z Zs ? ? WHY DO I HAVE TO BURN MY FOREHEAD ON THE LAMP SHADE BEFORE I PULL THE BIG SWITCH ? ? COULD THIS BE SENILITY OR SHEER BOREDOM ? ? WHY ARE LIDFESTATIONS MORE ACUTE ON OUR BANDS DURING JANUARY AND FEBRUARY ? ? COULD IT BE THE WINTER BLUES, THE AFTERMATH OF OVER INDULGENCE, THE SWINE FLU, OR PERHAPS GETTING TO GRIPS WITH THE LATEST BLACK BOX CHRISTMAS PRESENT ?? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for FEBRUARY 2014 WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LET ONE OR TWO YEARS ELAPSE BEFORE MAKING INQUIRIES ABOUT THAT QSL YOU SUPPOSEDLY SENT AND DID NOT GET A REPLY ? ? ? IS IT THAT HARD TO SEND AN EMAIL AFTER A COUPLE OF MONTHS ? ? ? DID YOU KNOW ZZ80 IS A BRAZILIAN CALLSIGN PREFIX ? ? WHY IS IT THAT IF YOU TRY TO BE FUNNY BY GIVING ME A 555 REPORT I IMMEDIATLELY SUSPECT ANOTHER OF MY ANTENNAS HAS BEEN WRECKED BY THE GENTLEMEN CLAMBERING ALL OVER THEM ON THE TERRACE UPSTAIRS ? ? ? WHY IS IT THAT MY 5 YEARS OF RETIREMENT HAVE FLASHED BY ? ? ? HAS IT SOMETHING TO DO WITH AGE OR IS IT BECAUSE IT IS THE BEST JOB I HAVE EVER HAD ? ? ? WHY IS IT THAT IF YOU CALL OFF FREQUENCY WHEN I AM WORKING SIMPLEX WITHOUT MENTIONING (ZB2FK DE - - - - -) I MIGHT ASSUME YOU ARE CALLING SOMEONE ELSE CLOSE BY ? ? ? WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP GROOMING THIS WEBPAGE TO RECUPERATE MY LOST SPACES BETWEEN WORDS AND REMOVING RANDOM CHARACTERS THAT MYSTERIOSLY APPEAR FROM ONE DAY TO ANOTHER ? ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for MARCH 2014 WHEN I GO ON SPLIT TO FACILITATE OPERATIONS AND KEEP SENDING ( ZB2FK UP ) WHY DO YOU INSIST ON CALLING ON MY TRANSMIT FREQUENCY ? ? DOES QSX UP MEAN YOU HAVE TO CONGREGATE IN A PILE ON THE ONE FREQUENCY ? ? WHAT IS THE USE OF GOING SPLIT IF YOU DON`T SPREAD OUT ? ? WHY DO I BOTHER GOING SPLIT IF I HEAR THE SAME CACOPHONY AS ON SIMPLEX ? ? COULD THESE RANDOM NUMBERS I HEAR POSSIBLY BE BEAM HEADINGS ? ? CONTESTER`S SYNDROME ? ? OR COULD IT BE THAT SOME CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE WORKED WITH VERTICALS, DIPOLES & LONGWIRES SINCE 1988 ? ? WHAT WAS THE ORIGIN OF THE EXPRESSION " RAG CHEWING " ? ? WAS IT BECAUSE YOU REPEAT YOURSELF A LOT WHILST YOU ARE CHEWING IT ? ? OR IS IT BECAUSE YOU REPEAT A LOT WHEN DIGESTING IT ? ? IS " WHATEVER " THE RAG CHEWER`S FAVOURITE PAUSE ON PHONE AND " ! ! " ON CW ? ? IS THE CW KEY HELD WITH A RAG WHEN IT GETS TOO HOT TO HANDLE AND ACCIDENTALLY THE RAG GETS CHEWED UP BY THE CONTACT POINTS ? ? WHY DOES THE XYL SAY " WHY DON`T YOU CALL IT RADIO INSTEAD OF WIRELESS ? THERE IS NOTHING WIRELESS ABOUT THIS MESS OF WIRES ".
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for APRIL 2014 WHEN CONDITIONS ARE PLAGUED WITH DEEP QSB WHY DON`T YOU GIVE YOUR FULL CALL AT LEAST 3 TIMES WHEN PROMPTED BY ME WITH PART OF YOUR CALL FOLLOWED BY QUESTION MARKS ? ? WHY IS IT THAT IF YOU TRY TO FILL IN THE MISSING BITS IT WILL ONLY CAUSE MORE CONFUSION ? ? IS IT LIKELY THAT IF YOU SEND YOUR CALL ONCE ONLY IT COULD COINCIDE WITH THE TROUGH AND AFTER A COUPLE OF PROMPTS I MIGHT THINK YOU HAVE DROWNED IN THE SOUP ? ? WILL THIS CYCLE MAXIMA BE KNOWN AS THE 9-SOUP-9 SEE SAW ? ? WHY DO YOU KEEP SENDING ME E MAILS ASKING FOR OPERATIONS ON 20M ? ? WHY IS IT THAT EVERY TIME I GO ON 20M THERE IS LITTLE OR NO INTEREST AND I HAVE TO QSY BAND OR GO QRT BECAUSE THERE ARE NO TAKERS ? ? WHAT IS THE CW VERSION OF " GIVE ME FIVE " ? ? IS IT NOT LIKE A FINAL SALUTE WHEN YOU FINISH A QSO TO SEND " E H E " AND THE OTHER ANSWERS " E E " ? ? WHY HAS IT NOW BECOME AUTOMATIC TO SEND " dit dit " WHEN I HEAR " E H E " ? ? COULD I BE ACCUSED OF BEING TOO FRIVOLOUS OR DOES IT LIVEN UP OPERATIONS ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for MAY 2014 DOES ANYONE REMEMBER WHO AN ELMER IS ? ? HAVE ELMERS GONE OUT OF FASHION ? ? ARE ELMERS NOW REDUNDANT OR ARE THEY JUST UNAVAILABLE ? WHY IS IT I OWE SO MUCH TO MY ELMER (NOW A SILENT KEY) ? ? WHY IS IT THAT ALTHOUGH IT IS WELL INTENDED YOUR S.A.E. SHOULD NOT HAVE A U.S. POSTAGE STAMP STUCK ON IT ? IS IT GOOD NEWS OR BAD NEWS THAT I HAVE JUST WORKED 24 STNS ON 17M WITHOUT A SINGLE SPOT ON THE CLUSTERS ? IS THE GOOD NEWS THAT WE ARE TUNING AROUND AND LISTENING AT LAST OR COULD THE BAD NEWS BE WE ARE SINKING EVER DEEPER IN APATHY ? WHY DO I GIVE MY CALLSIGN EVERY TIME I FINISH A QSO ? IS IT TO MAKE SURE NO ONE ELSE GIVES YOU A 5 9 9 IN THE CONFUSION TO CONVENIENTLY GET RID OF ANOTHER CALLER ? DO THOSE INNOCENT ENOUGH TO FALL FOR THIS ONE EVENTUALLY END UP WITH A (N I L) INSTEAD OF A QSL ? WILL THIS SQUARE DARK HOLE ON THE SUN TURN OUR DIPOLES INTO QUADS ? WHY DO SOME OLD TIMERS TELL ME THEY HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED ANYTHING SIMILAR SINCE THE CORONA tion ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for JUNE 2014 WHY IS IT THAT WHEN I LOOK BACK THROUGH MY LOGS TO OUR LAST MAX I SAY TO MYSELF " HEY MAX WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THAT MAX ? " COULD WE HAVE HAD MORE FROM NUMBER TWENTY FOUR ?" WHY WAS THAT MAX SO LAX ? ? HOW DO I DARE GET ON THE AIR WITH YET ANOTHER SOLAR FLARE ? DOES THE SUN`S ACTIVITIES LATELY HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH BREAKING WIND ? DOES THE OTHER 4 LETTER WORD HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH Fainting After Releasing Toxins ? DOES THE QSY TO MY ORIGINAL SHACK MEAN I WILL BE DOING SOME SSB AT LAST ? ? WHY ARE THERE SO MANY JAPANS IN EUROPE & U.S.A. ? ? AM I WASTING MY TIME SENDING " JAPAN ONLY or FAR EAST ONLY" IN ORDER TO WORK 20 MINUTES OF RARE LP PROPAGATION ? ? WHY IS IT THAT DESPITE EXPLANATIONS AND PETITIONS MY LONG PATH QSOs WITH THE FAR EAST ARE STILL BEING RUINED BY A FEW WHO APPARENTLY DON`T LISTEN OR WON`T CO-OPERATE ? ? WHY DON`T YOU LISTEN BEFORE DROPPING A SPANNER IN THE WORKS ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for JULY 2014 WHY IS THE AMERICAN ANSWER TO A QUESTION ABOUT THE LATEST STATE OF THE PROPAGATION SO TRUE AND TO THE POINT ? ? CAN THE ANSWER BE MORE STRAIGHT FORWARD THAN " LATELY THE PROPAGATION SUCKS " ? ? DOES IT SUCK AT ONE`s WILLINGNESS TO GET ON THE AIR ? ? OR DOES ONE HAVE TO SUCK CQs FOR 10 MINUTES BEFORE GETTING A QSB PLAGUED REPLY ? ? WOULD YOU BELIEVE I ASKED SOMEONE TO POST ME ON THE CLUSTER AND THE RESPONSE WAS " MY NAME IS BILLY " ? ? HOW CAN YOU SEND AN ENVELOPE WITH ( ERNEST STAGNETTO GX11 1AA GIBRALTAR ) AND EXPECT IT TO REACH ME ? ? IS A NAME, POST CODE AND COUNTRY THE WAY TO ADDRESS A LETTER ? IS IT NOT LUCKY MOST POSTMEN KNOW ME BY NOW ? ? WOULD IT HAVE BEEN A CASE OF ( INSUFFICIENT ADDRESS RETURN TO SENDER ) HAD IT NOT BEEN A SMALL PLACE LIKE GIBRALTAR ? HOW RUDE CAN YOU BE TO DEMAND TO KNOW MY QTH AT RANDOM WITHOUT INITIATING A QSO AND THEN CALL ME A LID WHEN I IGNORE YOUR INTRUSION ? WHY DON`T YOU LISTEN AND WHEN YOU HEAR MY CALLSIGN LOOK IT UP AND EDUCATE YOURSELF ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for AUGUST 2014 WHAT IS THE POINT OF SENDING ME YOUR QSL, SAE & GREEN STAMPS IN AN UNSEALED ENVELOPE ? ? WHY CANNOT I SPEAK HIGHLY ENOUGH OF THE HONESTY OF ALL THOSE POSTAL SERVICES THAT HANDLED THAT OPEN ENVELOPE ? ? HOW OFTEN DO YOU USE THE DIAL LOCK BUTTON ? ? CAN AN UNLOCKED DIAL BE KNOCKED ACCIDENTALLY AND SEND YOU REELING INTO INVOLUNTARY MISCHIEF ? ? WHY IS IT THAT UNTIL PROPAGATION IMPROVES TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN GIVE S7,8 OR 9 REPORTS CONSISTENTLY I CANNOT VENTURE INTO SSB OPERATIONS ? ? DON`T YOU REALIZE THAT UNDER PRESENT CONDITIONS AN SSB OPERATION COULD GIVE THIS OLD FART A LOT OF FRUSTRATION ? ? IF I JUST WORKED YOU ON 14.018 MHZ WHY DO YOU HAVE TO CONFUSE EVERYONE BY POSTING ME ON THE CLUSTER AS OPERATING ON 10.120 MHZ ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for SEPTEMBER 2014 WHY IS IT SILLY BILLY, THE QRO BULLY EXPECTS INSTANT ATTENTION AND WILL QRM ME WHEN I AM TRYING TO WORK ANYONE ELSE OTHER THAN HIS LORDSHIP ? ? WHY AM I SO SURE HE DID NOT LEARN THESE RUDE TACTICS FROM HIS ELMER ? ? DID HE EVER HAVE AN ELMER OR WAS IT ALL D.I.Y. ? ? WHY IS IT THAT WHEN I ASK THREE TIMES IF THE FREQ IS IN USE THERE IS A DEADLY SILENCE AND THEN WHEN I AM INTO MY THIRD CQ YOU START SHOWERING ME WITH " ROBBER YOU STEAL MY FEQUENCY - - - - GO AWAY YOU SECOND HAND MONKEY & ( ALL THE NORMAL UNMENTIONABLES ) " ? ? IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO SEND " YES QRL, QRL PSE QSY " ? ? OR IS IT YOU DON`T REACT WHEN YOU HEAR " QRL ? ? QRL ? ? " AS BEING SOMEONE ASKING IF THE FREQUENCY IS IN USE ? ? WHAT IS THE JOLLY ROGER BRIGADE ? ? CAN THESE ROGUES WITH STRANGE CALLSIGNS (FOR WHICH NO INFORMATION CAN BE FOUND ANYWHERE) BE FROM THE J.R. BRIGADE ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for OCTOBER 2014 WHO WAS IT WHO SAID " IF AT FIRST YOU DON`T SUCCEED CALL, CALL, AND CALL AGAIN " ? ? WHY IS IT THESE DAYS MOST FIND IT TIRESOME TO REPEAT THEIR CALL MORE THAN TWICE ? ? DO YOU FIND IT DEMEANING TO KEEP REPEATING YOUR CALL FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES TO COMPLETE THE QSO ? ? DO YOU FEEL INSULTED WHEN YOU RECEIVE A 539 REPORT ? ? DO YOU EVER CONSIDER THAT IT IS YOUR BEAM THAT MAKES IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO GIVE ME A 599 IN RETURN ? ? SHOULD I BECOME A 5NN MACHINE ? ? WHY IS WOW BEING PHASED OUT AND AMAZING TAKING IT`S PLACE ? ? IS REPEATING A WOW LIKE BARKING IN SLOW MOTION ? ? WHEN WILL I BE ABLE TO CROSS THE ATLANTIC AGAIN ON TOP BAND ? ? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO INVADE THE BEACON SECTOR OF 10M AND OPERATE THE CONTEST ON TOP OF THE BEACONS ? ? IS THIS IN THE CONTEST RULES OR DO CONTESTS RULE ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for NOVEMBER 2014 WHY IS IT MY RADIOS BECOME A WHITER SHADE OF PALE WHEN THERE ARE INTERIOR DECORATORS AT WORK IN MY FLAT ? ? ARE DUST COVERS A SOLUTION TO PREVENTING MY RADIOS GOING ANNAEMIC OR DOES THE DUST GET TO THEM ANYWAY ? ? WHY DID THE XYL SAY " YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU HAD BOUGHT THOSE OLD WHITISH, GREY RADIOS RECENTLY DEAR " ? ? WHY HAVE I HAD TO REPEAT " PLEASE BE CAREFUL NOT TO FOLD THOSE CABLES " MORE THAN 40 TIMES IN THE PAST 3 WEEKS WHEN THESE GENTLEMEN INSIST ON FOLDING MY COAXIAL CABLES INTO NEAT, TIGHT SQUARE BUNDLES? ? IS CATCHING INFLUENZA COMPLIMENTARY TO DECORATING OR IS IT BECAUSE ALL DOORS AND WINDOWS ARE LEFT OPEN ? ? WHY IS IT THAT THE MOMENT I GO SPLIT AT THE REQUEST OF SOME ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE AND I HAVE TO GO BACK TO SIMPLEX ON A DIFFERENT FREQUENCY? ? WHAT CAN ONE DO WHEN THE QSO DATA ON A QSL IS ILLEGIBLE AND YOU FAIL TO RESPOND TO MY E MAILS ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for DECEMBER 2014 WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP CHANGING FREQUENCY EVERY 10 OR 15 MINUTES SO THAT W3LPL KEEPS POSTING ME ON THE CLUSTER AS VERY FEW OTHER THAN MY FAITHFUL, ROBOTIC FRIEND WILL ? ? IS IT POLITICALLY INCORRECT TO USE GREETINGS OF OLD LIKE " 73S, HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR " ? ? HOW CAN WELL WISHES OFFEND ANYONE ? ? WHAT ABOUT SEASON`S GREETINGS ? ? WOULD IT SUFFICE TO USE ( S G ) TO COVER ( HXM ES HNY ) ? ? HOW COOL IS THAT ? ? WHERE DID FINE BUSINESS ( F B ) ORIGINATE FROM ? ? WHICH SORT OF BUSINESS WAS THAT ? ? WHY IS IT I SUSPECT IT WAS NOT OF THE LUCRATIVE SORT ? ? WHY DO MY BONES ACHE MORE WHEN YOU SEND 73s O M ? ? HAS IT BECOME AN OLD MAN`S HOBBY OR IS IT JUST ANOTHER AFFECTIONATE WAY OF CALLING YOU FRIEND ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for January 2015 WHO KNOWS IF HF AND 6M PROPAGATION WILL BE BETTER IN 2015 ? ? DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC ? ? IS THERE STILL ANY HOPE FOR 160m THIS WINTER ? ? WHY DO YOU ADMIT MAKING A MISTAKE ON YOUR S. A. E. BUT BLAME ME FOR NOT RECEIVING A QSL ? ? HOW FAIR IS THAT ? ? WHY WAS IT LIKE MAGIC TO CROSS THE POND THIS YEAR ON 80m (8/1/15) ? ? WHY DO DIPOLE CENTER SUSPENSION PULLEYS ALWAYS JAM WHEN YOU WANT TO MAKE A QUICK REPAIR WITHOUT THE HASSLE OF LOWERING YOUR MAST ? ? WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES WHEN IT HAPPENS ON A YACHT ? ? WHY IS IT THAT ONCE I PICK UP PART OF A CALL I WILL NOT BE QRMd INTO WORKING THE LATEST ARRIVAL INSTEAD ? ? WHY IS IT I WILL IGNORE YOU EVEN IF YOU BEHAVE LIKE AN ELEPHANT STOMPING INTO A CHINA SHOP ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for February 2015 WHY IS IT ALMOST COMPULSIVE TO REMOVE ONE`S HEADPHONES WHEN THE XYL MAKES A VISIT TO THE SHACK ? ? CAN THIS BE POLITENESS OR NECESSITY ? ? WHY DOES MY C W BECOME QUITE ERRATIC WHEN I SEE MY XYL BRANDISHING THAT INTERMINABLE (NEED TO DO) LIST ? ? WHY IS IT THAT WHEN ONE IS NEUTRALIZING FINALS A HEAVY BOOK BEING DROPPED (ACCIDENTALLY OR NOT) NEAR YOU CAN GIVE YOU THE FRIGHT OF YOUR LIFE ? ? IF YOUR TRANSMITTER DRIFTS FOR WHATEVER REASON WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PERCH YOURSELF IN CLOSE PROXIMITY SO THAT EVENTUALLY YOU FINISH UP SITTING ON TOP OF ME AND CAUSING HAVOC ? ? WHAT DO YOU UNDERSTAND BY A WIDEBAND SPLIT OPERATION ? ? DOES IT MEAN TAKING OVER PART OR MOST OF THE BAND ? ?
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH for March 2015 IF THIS GUY SAYS " MY NAME IS LUBOS, LIMA, UNIFORM, BRAVO, OSCAR, SIERRA, LUBOS, I REPEAT LUBOS " WHY DO YOU HAVE TO INSIST ON CALLING HIM RUPERT ?? WHY DOES EVERYONE ELSE AUTOMATICALLY CALL HIM RUPERT FOR THE NEXT 3 QSOs DESPITE THIS MAN`S EFFORTS TO PHONETICALLY SPELL HIS NAME ? ? DO YOU BLAME HIM FOR GETTING INTO A BIT OF A HUFF AND SAYING " NO, NO, NEGATIVE RUPERT, NAME IS LUUUBBOOOOSSS, LUUUBBOOOOOSSSSSS NOT RUPERT PLEASE LISTEN, LLIIIIISSSSSSTTTTENNN " ? ?